My Dream Marriage

My eyes are swollen and my nose puffy. I have been crying since the doctor broke the devastating news to us. I don’t even have the strength to call anyone and inform them about it. I am just looking at anything without really focusing. I am sitting near my mother’s bed.

After the doctor told us about the news, we had to go see father before he could be taken to the morgue. My mother on seeing the immobile body of my father could not contain her emotions and she fainted on the spot. She had to be checked for one thing or another and it was confirmed that she is okay, she just fainted for the obvious reason.

After all the necessary arrangements, my dad’s body has just been taken to the morgue and now I am waiting for my mother to wake up so that we can take the next steps.

My phone rings and it’s Azila calling me. I pick it up and hold it onto my ear. “Hey Neera, I have been calling you nonstop,” she says. “You did? I didn’t notice, sorry,” I say because I was too unfocused to hear any ringing tones. “Neera, are you okay? You sound awful, your voice sounds like a frog’s. Have you been practicing singing?” Her sense of humor is evident but I can’t even laugh.

“I have been crying.”

“Why? Tell me if it’s Edward then I promise you he will regret whatever he has done to you.” Azila and her jokes.

“No he hasn’t done anything, stow your twitching revenge away, please,” I assure her.

“Thank goodness. Then what happened Neera, did someone bully you?”

“It’s my father, he just passed away like an hour ago,” I say tears starting to fall. “Oh Neera, I am so sorry. Where are you right now?” “I am at the hospital,” my voice is barely audible. “I am coming right now,” She says and hangs up.

Another call comes through and it’s Edward calling. Right now I don’t know if I will be able to talk properly. Tears are falling and even blocking my vision. I pick up regardless, “hi Edward,” I whisper. “Neera, why are you sounding like that? Anyway I am at the hospital’s parking lot,” he says and I am really grateful that he is here. “Can you come up to the emergency department, that is where I am.” That is so thoughtful of him, he has never visited my dad since he was admitted. “Okay, meet me in the hallway,” he says. I leave my mother’s ward so as to wait for him at a point where he can easily see me.

“Edward,” I run to him and embrace him when he emerges. I cry loudly in his arms and he just holds me. “What is it, Neera? Why are you crying like a baby?” “It’s my dad Edward. He left me,” I say amid sobs. I am starting to wet his shirt. “Oh, it’s okay Neera,” is all he says. “Where is he now?” He asks. “He’s been transferred to the mortuary,” I answer. “Your mother?” “She’s in the ward, she fainted after she couldn’t handle the fact that dad is no more. I think we have to go and see her, she probably is awake now.”

I lead the way after wiping my tears off my face. My mother is awake when we get to the ward.

“Hello Edward, you are here. Neera, I was wondering where you went to,” she says groggily, she has just woken up. “I went to get him mom, how are you feeling?” “Worse than I thought,” she says, not hiding her feelings. “Hello Mrs Brown, I had come to pick up Neera when I got the news,” Edward says. “Thank you for coming over Edward,” my mother says. “I am Neera’s husband, so it is my duty to comfort her. You also need to be strong for your husband, have you made any arrangements?” “He is in the morgue now. I still have a lot to do so I will inform you. I just have to grieve a little,” she smiles a grim smile. I only pray to the heavens to give her comfort and strength to be able to go through this.

“Okay Mrs Brown. Incase of anything, Neera, inform me. I will take care of everything and right now I am going to call my parents and tell them about it. In the meantime, arrange for a meeting with the right staff concerning this matter and we will have to know what should be done before we start with the funeral arrangements,” he says and leaves the room.

I go over to my mom’s bed and hug her, we need each other right now. She wipes a stray tear that falls from her left eye, disengages from the hug and looks away. “Mom, it’s gonna be okay. Dad may be lying there but he is watching over us. I’m sure he won’t be happy when he sees you like this,” I say in order to at least entice her. “Yes, you are right. Your dad never wanted me to cry. He always praised me for being a strong woman. He could even compare me to a lioness and here I am crying like a baby.”

“Now you have to be stronger for him than ever. We have to see the senior doctor and ask him the way forward.”

“Right Neera,” she says and before we get up to leave, Azila enters. She is wearing official clothes and I think she just came here straight from work. She hugs me before hugging my mother too. “I am so sorry that this happened to you,” she says. “Thank you for coming, Neera. How did you know that we are here?”

“Oh that, I met Edward in the hallway and he told me,” she says.

****

“Thank you so much again Azila for coming to see us,” I say. “Oh Neera, enough with the thank you. I know if I were in your shoes you would have done the same thing for me. That’s what friends do right?” “You have no idea how grateful I am for all that you have done for me. Even at such a time your presence is highly appreciated,” I say, “I haven’t told Jackie about it, I was worried given her condition,” I add. “I don’t think so, let me inform her, maybe my tactics won’t let her be too affected,” she says.

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“Anytime Neera, keep me updated,” she says and drives off. I had come to see her off. My mother is with Eric, Piper and Edward at the senior doctor’s office. Edward’s parents came after he told them about my dad’s passing. I have to go back and know whatever they have been planning.

I meet them at the reception, with my mom carrying their belongings, since they have been staying at the hospital for some time. She is way stronger now as opposed to the way she was earlier.

“I will have to accompany my mother now that it seems like she’ll be staying alone,” I inform them.”There is no problem with that Neera. You need each other now,” Piper says. “I will be driving you,” Edward says.

“Thank you for coming. I appreciate the huge support that you are giving me. I am happy that my daughter is in safe hands,” my mother says. “Take care,” Eric says and they leave with his wife. “This way,” Edward directs my mother and I.

The drive home is silent, everyone is in their own thoughts. I wish I had the ability to read people’s minds, I could probably answer the questions that could be lingering in the minds of my fellow occupants of this vehicle that they don’t want to ask aloud. It is a quick ride though, because in no time we are already home. No traffic jam, it’s off-peak hours that’s why.

“I’ll see you some other time,” Edward says and I hug him. “Thank you for the ride,” my mother says. He gets back into the car and drives off. I thought Alex should be back to work. Edward has been driving by himself lately.

The house is just as I left it. The only difference is that we are less by one person than we used to be. It is even gloomy with no happy chatter and laughter like before. “I’ll be in the bedroom. I am so tired I need to rest and start the funeral arrangements tomorrow,” my mom says and leaves. She has been staying with dad since he was admitted and I know she even has had sleepless nights. She really needs to rest. I also need to rest.

My room is still the same. My clothes and everything else hasn’t been tampered with, it is clean from the looks of it and only a little dust that could have gathered in a week and I think my mom used to clean it before she had to stay at the hospital.

I change into one of my old nightdresses and change the bedsheets. These ones are damp and have gathered some dust. I switch off the lights and get onto the bed.

I can’t keep my mind off serious thoughts that have clouded my mind. I have been tossing and turning for some time now and this clearly shows that I am experiencing insomnia. I sit upright thinking of what I can do to make myself go to sleep but I can’t find the right one now. I wonder if mom might be asleep by now. Just right! Good idea.

I get off the bed and head to her bedroom. I open her bedroom door slowly and to my surprise she is still awake.

“Neera, shouldn’t you be asleep by now?” She asks, not to moving from whatever she is doing. “I can’t sleep mom so I thought I could sleep with you here. What are you looking at?” I ask moving towards her bed and I find that she is looking at a photo album. “It’s your father’s photos. I wanted to remind myself that he is no more and that I will only be getting to see him through his photos,” she says, flipping the photos of him when he was still younger, one after another. “He used to be so handsome when he was younger. How come I have never seen this photo album before?”I ask and my mom smiles dreamily, “you could have seen him when he was courting me, all the women who came across us used to get jealous of me and swoon over him.” “I can only imagine,” I say. “Anyway, your father treasured this album so much that he kept it secured in his secret drawers. I used to see it once in a while,” she says. “At least he could have shown me once in a while too,” I say, pouting my lips. “He didn’t want you to see it for one reason or another, he told me that no one should have access to it no matter what.” “Why though?”

“He never gave me another reason. That is all he told me. Enough of this Neera, we have busy days starting tomorrow so let’s get to rest,” she says closing the album and goes to put it in a drawer in the closet and uses a key to secure the lock properly and keeps the keys at yet another secure drawer inside the closet. He really didn’t want anyone to see it. I haven’t even got to see all the photos inside. I will enquire about that from my mom after we are done with everything.

She gets into the covers beside me and says, “goodnight Neera, you should sleep early.” “Goodnight mom,” and in no time I can hear her breath stabilizing as she gives in to slumber. I get closer to her to feel my mother’s warmth. It has been so long since I slept closer to her like this and right now it feels like I am a little girl again.