The vow
Alexander’s POV
As the car came to a stop I couldn’t bring myself to leave the car. I had been prepping myself ever since I left the office on how to act and possible things I could say. It was really pathetic I was aware of that.
I was so nervous at the high prospect of seeing Lily and I didn’t know how to act, not after I left. I’m sure she hates me.
After sitting behind the wheel for nearly close to an hour, I decided to leave the car finally.
As I said walked past the maids, they all stared at me in confusion and shock, probably because I was home earlier then usual.
“Where is my Wife?”. I asked one of them who was standing neglecting her work with her mouth agape.
“Your room Sir”. She gulped and responded. I flashed her an irritated look before continuing my journey up stairs.
I had left work a bit early because I realized I left some important files at home that I need for a meeting which I had to attend soon.
When I had even left the office, everyone had flashed me the same confused and choices stared because I could have just asked anyone of them to go pick it up from me but none of dared question my decision.
It was not like I didn’t have other things to do at the office. I actually had a ton of work to get done but the truth was that I wanted to see Lily and I used this as an excuse. I wanted to see how she was doing, with the pregnancy and all. I really still can’t wrap my head around the fact that I’m about to become a father. I really hope it’s a baby girl that looks just like my Lily.
I missed her so much. I missed having her close to me and the fact that I even if I see her, I still wouldn’t be able to touch her breaks my heart. I guess I deserve that though since I’m such a jerk.
It all happened so fast, one minute i had in my arms and the next I don’t anymore. I wonder if things would go back to the way it was.
I navigated my way through the house as I went up and stairs and finally got to our room. I stood in front of the door trying to gather my self together. I noticed that my hands were shaking and my breathing had become irregular.
I stood there for a while, inhaling in and out to even out my breathing before placing a firm knock on the door.
It sounded quiet at the other end and it only made me more nervous. I placed another knock again and waited for a few minutes but there was still no response. She was probably inside and perhaps did not want to see me or talk to me.
I still stood at the door again, waiting to hear any sound coming from the other end but it was dead silent. She must be really pissed.
I decided to summon courage and pull open the damn door. I was Alex Dankworth, the most confident and intimidating person i had ever come across. I could handle anything that comes my way and even more and so why would I be scared to see my own wife. It was just little Lily, what could she possibly do it me.
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My subconscious responded to me as soon as I had asked that question and that was exactly what would kill me. It would be better for her show some reaction. Show me that she was mad, sad or whatever way she was feeling. She could hit me or scream in my face and I would take it, but I would never be able to take her silence.
It felt like she was shutting me out and I hated it. I knew that she was one to not hide her emotion and if she began hiding them from me that means another person gets to see them.
I immediately saw red and my fists clenched involuntarily as I pictured my Lily crying and sharing her emotions with someone else. It was an annoying and disgusting sight. I should always be that person for her.
I shrugged in disgust as I quickly erased the image from my head. I should probably go in and see her. Whatever it is, we would get through it. I took a deep breathe and pulled my self together before pushing the door open.
I intended to move quietly into the room but the door creaked loudly announcing my presence at the very instant. I sighed and pushed it further open and peeked inside first. I’m sure I looked ridiculous peeking into my own room.
I wondered if I wanted her to be there anymore cause I was so nervous but I was even more nervous when silence welcomed me as I walked into the room. The place was empty and there was no sign of Lily.
I wondered if the maid was mistaken but then what if she was just in the bathroom. I walked further in but I couldn’t hear the shower running or any sound from inside the bathroom. I decided to check regardless.
“Lily!!”. I called out her name but there was no response.
“Are you in there?” I asked but there was still no response.
“Since you’re not going to respond, I’m just going to come in.” I knew that if I threatened to just come in when she would be probably naked, Lily would respond. She was still so shy around me. That was one of the many things I adored about her. Her innocence.
Unfortunately or fortunately for me, there was still no response. I guess my Lily had grown some big balls. “I’m coming”. I sighed and pushed the bathroom door open.
To my surprise, the bathroom was empty. I walked around and the whole place did not even seem like she was even here today. I panicked immediately. Where could she be. Did Lily leave me. Was she really that upset with me.
I rushed out of the bathroom immediately, with the intention of checking the wardrobe for her things to know if she truly packed up and left me.
All those plans of checking the wardrobe fell out through the window as a disheartening sight came to my view.
It was like everything stopped loving and it was all happening in slow motion. I stopped in my tracks and my shoulders slumped as I tried to register the view on front of me.
It was no longer slow paced anymore. It was now fast paced. In a millisecond, I rushed towards my wife who was laying unconscious on the floor by the bed.
“Lily!!”. I screamed out as I tried to shake her awake.
There was no response.
“Lily please get up!!”. I tried again but there was still no response.
I touched her face and her temperature was very high. Her eyes were puffy and She looked so pale. If I could not see her chest heaving up and down, I would think she was dead.
I was so scared but I needed to act fast or else all my fears would come to pass.
This time I couldn’t sit around and wait for any doctor to get here. I needed to act very fast and so grabbed her and carried her up in bridal style as I ran out of the room.
“Open the doors!!”. I screamed at anyone who was around. The maids scampered around opening doors and staring at me with panic in their eyes. It made it even more prominent that it was real and I was scared shitless.
I managed to get her into the back seat of my car with the help of one of the maids who got into the car right after and I jumped behind the wheel and sped off .
“Please stop it!!”. I screamed at the maid who kept bouncing her legs in anxiety.
“Sorry sir”. She whispered quietly.
I was devastated and utterly shattered. I was even more nervous about the possible outcomes of this situation but she was trying to make it worse for me.
I wonderful what happened to Lily. How did she fall and how long had she been lying unconscious on the floor for her to look so pale. What if i didn’t come home when I did.
“How come none of you were able to get to her on time?.” I transferred my questions to the maid.
“We didn’t know Sir.” She responded with tears in her eyes. It was really pathetic and it was pissing me off.
“My wife is pregnant for Christ’s sake. What do I pay you for?”. I asked her harshly.
“To take care of the house and your wife Sir.” she responded in a shaky voice.
“And did you do that?”. I spat out.
“No sir.” She whispered out.
“You all better pray nothing happens to my wife or else you would be glad I just fire you and let you go scot free.” I said in a low threatening manner and I meant every word of it. They were all going to pay.
She gasped loudly and continued crying.
I scoffed and looked away from her as I roughly pulled into the hospital driveway. I didn’t bother to even park well as I jumped down from the vehicle.
“It’s an emergency!!!”. I screamed as I opened the back door and carried my wife out.
Some nurses who were standing around, rushed towards me with a stretcher and laid her on it.
We all pushed the stretcher in hurriedly and when we got close to a door they stopped me and carried her in.
I didn’t protest even if I wanted to be close to her right now. I wanted the professionals to help her as soon as possible. Nothing should happen to my wife or the baby
I don’t think I would be able to survive without my Lily. She was everything to me.
I couldn’t bear such a thing a second time. Although the first was very painful but I don’t think it would be just painful if it happened again now.
It would be an endless excruciating pain to my soul and body. I couldn’t live without her.
I couldn’t help but blame myself for all of these. If only I didn’t treat her like that earlier, maybe none of these could have happened. I was such a dumbass.
I knew that I wanted Lily, Fuck it was even more than that. I craved her. She was the only thing that mattered to me.
I was just scared. Scared that I would lose her and instead of just living and showing her how much I loved her, I ran.
They say you never know what you have until you lose it. Today I had come to agree with that statement. I was on the verge of losing my wife. I didn’t what could come of this but I knew I needed her. I couldn’t possibly do this life without her by my side.
I turned around to find my parents walking towards me. My father with a look of worry etched on his face and my mother the opposite. I was not in the mood for that so I decided to not think much of it. I knew she did not like Lily so that was expected.
“What happened?, Is she okay?”. My father asked as soon as he was within reach.
“I don’t know dad, I just found her on the floor in our room.” I sighed. “The doctors are yet to provide any information”.
He squeezed my shoulders and gave a me nod before taking a seat. My mother simply rolled her eyes at my state before taking a seat with my dad. She looked like she would rather be anywhere but here.
I turned my attention away from them and continued staring into space hoping and praying to any god that might hear me to save my wife.
There and there in these hospital halls that smelt like blood, syringe and medicine, I made a promise to myself that henceforth I would fight this battle with myself and I would win.
I was done running from my past. I would face it and I would conquer. Then I would show Lily how much she meant to me. I would love her endlessly and treat her right.
I would not let my fears come in between us.