Always Been You

~Lola’s POV~

When Mason showed up out of nowhere, I felt like I was a deer that had been startled by a headlight. Mason and I shared a kiss, but we’ve never brought it up in conversation since then. I am confused. Call me stupid for leaving Dante in that situation; I didn’t want Mason to think otherwise. I shouldn’t have to worry about how he feels, but Mason has been there for me when Dante was not. I can’t just disregard him like he’s garbage, but there is this question that won’t leave me alone that keeps nagging at me: “Do I really like Mason that way, or was it the kiss because it has been so long since I kissed someone?”

Can I, Lola, spend the rest of my life with Mason? I am confused. I have no idea what it is that I want at the moment, and I have no one else to blame but that damned heart of mine. Mason and I left for his suite but ended up sleeping in separate rooms. The next morning, he kept talking about why I kept on giving Dante time while I hadn’t given him any since our last kiss. You might call me crazy, but I enjoyed the kiss. However, I have never expressed an interest in having a romantic relationship with him, and that is something I cannot disclose to him at this time.From NôvelDrama.Org.

“So you are still Mrs. Monroe, and you are now working for him?” Here we go again. I don’t know what is wrong with Mason; he has never been the jealous type, and why all these questions? I left Dante and went with him; isn’t that enough for him to know that I am willing to at least try? I left my family, my kids are my life, and here I am in this hotel suite being asked, “Why am I still Mrs. Monroe?”

“Mason, since when have you been the jealous type?”

“Since the day you kissed me and never gave me a chance, we kissed Lola, we kissed, but the next day you ran to your fucking husband who doesn’t even appreciate you. A man who only wants to get in your skirts!” The man screamed. I could not move from where I stood. Why was he screaming at me like that? I don’t understand what’s going on with him. When I looked at him, I could tell that he was feeling guilty about what he had just said. “Lola, I’m sorry, I just don’t get it. You had a great life in Ozark, you and the kids, but you moved back in with him. You shared a house with him, and now you are working for him. It’s almost as if your whole life is centered on him. Let’s go back to Ozark, just the two of us.”

“Mason, look, there is no way that it can just be the two of us; you do realize that I am a mother, right? I have three kids who need their mother.” I attempted to continue, but he interrupted me just as I was about to say something else.

“And a husband who needs his wife, right?” This is a rhetorical question.

“Mason, Dante is still my husband. I left my husband standing outside his suite and chose to go with you if that isn’t enough for you. Then, I’m not sure what to say. I think you are going a little too far with this conversation. I have to remind you, I am a married woman, Mason, a married woman!” I yelled. I have never yelled at him before, and neither has he.

“If this is something you want, then when we get to New York City, we should start sharing a room. Stay with me for a week.”

“What? Is that some kind of trial?”

“No, I just want you to give me time, Lola. Perhaps we should continue working on what we started in that forest. Lola, my love for you is deep and sincere.” My pupils drew further apart. How is it even possible for him to make things even more unclear to me? He was supposed to be a friend, and I don’t even know what I feel for him.

“Mason, I have work to do tomorrow; we need to get to New York City as soon as possible.” He seized my hand and then pressed his lips against mine as he kissed me. I lost myself for a while. I really don’t know what I’m doing; there is Dante, and now Mason wants to be in my life. Dante’s love is toxic; he doesn’t want to take ownership of anything. Mason has turned into something else-so controlling. Hold on a second… I’m not sure why I’m letting him kiss me. Won’t I regret this later? Something is wrong. Why is Mason so demanding all of a sudden?

Who told him where Dante and I were? Is it possible that Mason was aware of everything June was doing the whole time? What exactly is going on here? Why is he suddenly so interested in me? I mean, I have known all along that Mason wanted me, but right now, he is being so possessive of me. It’s not like him at all to be so aggressive.

Mason and I made our way back to New York City, and on the way there, he made a reservation for a suite at one of Dante’s hotels. I have no idea why he decided to go to Dante’s hotel. I mean, there are a ton of hotels in New York City; why does it have to be the one that is owned by my husband? What game is Mason playing? Is it the assurance he needs? Or is this some sort of game? And what the heck was he thinking when he selected a suite that only had one bedroom?

The night came, and we headed to bed. Because I had nothing else to wear for the evening, I borrowed his shirt and put it on. Can I, Lola, sleep in the same bed with a man without having sex? After not having a dick for the past six years, I was practically on the verge of sleeping with Dante again yesterday. I am aware that I reached the climax, but unfortunately, that was not enough. What if I end up sleeping with Mason today? What if I make love to him and later discover that he is not the one for me? Will Dante forgive me? What if he turns this information against me again and this time keeps the children permanently? And why the fuck did that idiot willingly give me to Mason?

I can’t believe I am actually mad that he didn’t fight for me. Shit, I am confused, very confused, and I am scared I might end up making the wrong choices. Since I am considered legally married, I need to be careful that Mason and I do not step over the line into an adulterous relationship. However, why is Mason being so demanding at the moment?

Who told him our suite number and the exact location?