I’m Just His Wife

Mommy’s room suddenly opened so I quickly backed away. My mother showed up the moment the door was opened. She’s crying but she eventually stopped when she saw me.

“Ivan!” she look shocked. She wiped away her tears and knelt in front of me so we could be equal. “were you still here? Did you hear anything?” she asked. The extreme fear on his face was also obvious.

I hate telling lies so I just nodded my head slowly. My mommy closed her eyes tight before changing her gaze. He turned around in the room again so I turned around there as well. I saw my Daddy curiously looking at Mommy and when he darted his eyes at me, I saw his eyes widened.

Mommy sniffed and stood up. She closed the door and look forward on me again. He smiled at me and held out his hand.

“Let’s go, baby? Sleep in your room. Don’t understand what you heard before, okay?” her melodious voice and her warm smile came back.

I couldn’t answer Mommy and just held her hand. We walked away from Daddy’s room together.

I know my Mom’s just acting happy in front of me. I can feel the coldness of her palm. That was the sign that he was not comfortable now.

Mommy and I went into my room. She turned the lights on and organized my beddings properly. Other than that, my toys that were strayed on the ground were also picked up by her. She put it neatly in my toy container.

He sat on the bed and smilingly looked at me. “Come here, Ivan. Let’s pray after you sleep.” he nodded at me.

I immediately walked over to him and sat down next to him. I can sense that her smile was now true. Her eyes were twinkling and that was one of the signs that she was happy.

“Now, close your eyes and cohere your hands. Feel the presence of lord, anak …” her voice was as sweet as a love song. I smiled a bit and did what she told me. “Okay … The name of the father, of the son and of the holy spirit …” Mommy started uttering her prayer while I remained silent. I want to keep my prayer to myself.

Dear Lord God,

Please, do something to make my Mommy happy. I want her to be happy as always. I don’t want her to cry because she doesn’t deserve it. She deserves to be happy because she was a kind person. And also my Dad, please enlighten him. He never treated me as his own son. I am just like an air to him but I want all the best for him. Please, make him see your kindness. And mostly, I hope I can see my parents happy and loving each other.

I forgot, my birthday was already tomorrow. Thank you for making my life this long, God. I also hope that my Dad will greet me and that he will come tomorrow. That’s already a wonderful birthday gift for me.

Thank you again, God, for all of the blessings that you’re given me. I won’t forget all of that. Thank you for giving me a loving mother that didn’t leave me even if I am a boy with full of flaws. Thank you so much.

Amen.

I did the sign of the cross again before opening my eyes. I saw Mommy smiling looking at me. Her hand was already caressing my hair.

“Good boy, Ivan.” he praised me and laughed weakly. “You’re really growing up now. Maybe tomorrow or the day after you’ll be dating someone.” she giggled playfully.

I frowned. “Mom, I’m only turning eight. I won’t court a girl yet …” I said.

“You’re only turning eight but you think mature, Ivan.” her smile slightly faded. “Sometimes I’m scared because you might look like your daddy. You have the same habits and actions. You even looked like him.” her voice saddened.

My mouth slightly opened. “Mom, daddy and I were far different from each other. I love you while him …” I couldn’t continue what I said and just shook my head.

My Mom smirked without any sense of humor. “I shouldn’t have told you that, son. I think you’re too young for our situation like this …”

“Mom …” I looked at her intently. “I promise, I won’t be like Dad. I will love the girl I am married with and I won’t cheat on her. And mostly, God will be the center of our relationship …” I said.

Mommy was stunned. “Ivan!” she exclaimed while laughing. “See that? You’re already thinking about that marriage thing. You really think mature. I’m a proud mother.” she pinched my nose.

“Really, Mom? I already entered a school at the age of two. Don’t be curious if I think like this …” I shook my head lightly.

“Oh, was it my fault? I want you to learn everything that time, son …” she chuckled again. “But seriously, promise me that you won’t be like your father. Don’t do those things that he does to me. If ever you were married, love your wife so much and respect her like how you respect me.”

I nodded slowly. “I promise, Mommy. And God will be the center of our relationship. I want her and our future kids to get closer to God.” I promise.

My Mom smiled again and disorganized my hair using her palm. “Good boy. I like that one.” she said. “But, don’t you think that’s too early? You were only seven.”

“And I’m turning eight tomorrow, Mom.” I saw her smiled. “It’s better like this because I can prepare myself. I want my future to be organized. I want it all planned.”

“Ah, such a smart kid.” Mom commented. “But before doing that plan of yours, you should sleep first. You will have more sleep and rice to eat before you can make those plans for your future.” natatawang aniya.

After that night, my birthday came. My mother prepared a party for me and all of my classmates, teachers and my relatives were there. My favorite foods such as spaghetti, pizza and even an eight layered cake were prepared. The theme of my birthday was also my favorite book series. Everything was perfect. But … something’s insufficient.

My Dad weren’t there. Mommy told me that there was a problem with Daddy’s business but I couldn’t believe it. In my eight years of existence, he never attended any of my birthday or even greeted me a happy birthday. He always gives me a gift but it isn’t enough for me. I want his presence. That’s enough for me. I don’t want those material things that he’s given me.

Maybe he really hated me. He told me once that I am not his son. He even hit me once. And maybe … That was true. I am not his son and I will never be his son in his eyes.

Because of my disappointment, I left our house without even telling my mother where I will go. Me, myself, didn’t even know too where I will go. I just keep running away from our house. I feel pained and disappointed again. I thought … I thought Dad will, come this time. But like the usual, he didn’t.

I stopped running when I felt my feet got numb. I was catching my breath when I placed both of my hands on my knees. My gaze was turned in the right part of the road. I saw a black gate and that’s when I realized that it was the playground that my Mom and I used to play on.

I tried to step on my feet and when I succeeded I ran for it. I know this playground will lessen my disappointment … my sadness.

I went inside and noticed that it was muddy. The underneath of my shoes was coated with mud the moment I stepped inside the gate. I just heaved a sigh and continue entering the playground. My mom will surely scold at me again later.Content from NôvelDr(a)ma.Org.

I was taken aback when I saw a little girl sitting on the swing. Her dress was white so the mud that was coating her dress was visible. My forehead creased. He looks like he’s only my age but … why haven’t I ever seen him here in our subdivision?

Because of my curiosity, I walked towards her. She’s moving the swing while bowing her head. She seemed not to mind her appearance right now. I also saw her white flat shoes. It’s also coated with mud. What …

“Hey, muddy girl.” I tried to approach her in that way. Well, I don’t know her name so I better call her in any other name I want.

She lifted her head up and looked at me with her inquisitive face. My mouth opened. She was wearing a white head band and her face … She was like an angel. She looks beautiful.

“Why don’t you sit beside me?” she smiled at me that made her white complete teeth visible in my eyes.

I unconsciously did what she said. I did sit on the swing that was next to her swing. She looked at me and smiled again. I am starting to feel weird about her. Why was she smiling?

“You looked happy.” I commented. Her smile grew wide. “But you looked muddy at the same time.” I added.

She pouted her lips. “I slipped down on the muddy part of this place so … I was covered with so much mud. But, I remembered my Mom saying that I should be glad when I experience defeat or something like this. So … I am happy. ” she answered and smiled again.

I winced. “Isn’t that too literal? You’re weird.” I shook my head.

“Many said that, too, that I am weird …” she pouted her pinkish lips again. “But it’s okay. At least, I’m pretty.” she smirked and winked at me. I winced again, was she really a young girl?

“Who told you that you’re pretty?” I asked. I am trying to tease her.

“Many people told me that I’m pretty. I looked like a barbie doll also, according to them.” she politely answered. “How about you? Do you see me pretty?” she blinked her eyes beautifully.

I gulped hard with that. Okay, I can’t deny that she really looks pretty and that she really looks like a doll. But, it’s too embarrassing to admit it so …