3-19
CLAIRE
The next morning, Cainan’s guards drove us from the estate down the sweeping cliff to a deserted cove, whose turquoise waves lapped at a white-gold beach. Steep green cliffs broke the breathtaking view of an endless horizon with gentle water.
I wasn’t in the state of mind to appreciate the beauty, but if I blocked out armed soldiers and listened to the ocean, it was almost peaceful. I stood on a patch of damp sand. I glanced over my shoulder at the two chairs and the tent with refreshments. Bowls of papaya, salads, and cut watermelon sat under the shade, covered by mesh lids.
Was this a picnic?
I shaded my eyes and looked at Cainan.
He stood beside me, his firm, sensual lips set in a slight frown. I tried not to stare at the rich outline of his massive shoulders filling his T-shirt. The lines on his face hinted at a sleepless night. Something was eating him up.
I wanted to grill him, but I was hesitant to poke the bear so soon after yesterday. I battled with the urge for several minutes and blew out a sigh. This is absurd. Weeks ago, I asked Cainan anything. He evaded questions he didn’t want to answer with grace, but he never shut me down.
I sucked in a deep breath. “So…what are we doing here?”
“I thought a day at the beach might help us both decompress. We haven’t had the opportunity since we got here.”
He was right. Honestly, I was amazed I hadn’t experienced a panic attack. I was definitely stressed. My stomach churned with nausea and I’d barely picked at my food, too overwhelmed to eat.
A guard marched past us, rifle bouncing on his shoulder. I grabbed Cainan’s wrist and spoke in a low whisper. “Do they have to follow us?”
“Yes. The island isn’t safe.”
That delicate reminder raised the hairs on my neck. He seemed to sense my anxiety, his brow furrowing as he took my waist. Gently, he pulled me close.
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m great. Slept well, considering it was in a cage. The padded floor is a nice touch. Surprisingly comfortable. I bet the other men don’t have that eye for detail.” I paused, hating how sarcastic I sounded. “And I’m on a gorgeous beach, having a picnic with my…master.”
Cainan smirked and gave my cheek an affectionate squeeze. “See, that’s what I like about you. You make everything so much lighter.”
“That’s because I’m not flexible enough to perform your level of mental gymnastics.”
“Oh, I disagree. You bend exactly where I want you to.”
I burned with the implication behind that sentence as he slowly wound his arms around me.
“Most people crumble under stress,” he continued. “I’ve seen it happen so many times. I watched the son of a Mafia don break under a leather strap.” Cainan kissed my brow ridge, easing the ache in my heart. “You should be proud.”
“Yeah,” I muttered. “I’m a hero. Going along with what you do to me is so brave.”
“What are you supposed to do?”
“I don’t know. Fight?”
“You are…you’re just doing it on my side.” Cainan rubbed my back, the sweetness of the action so incongruous with my situation. “When we return to the villa, I’ll try to find out what the hell he’s planning for the first task.”
Fuck. I’d forgotten about his father’s stupid game. “What do you think it is?”
“No idea,” he murmured. “He’s done nothing like this before. You need to be prepared.”
My throat tightened. “For what?”
“Anything.” Cainan’s eyes bored into mine, steeped with an energy I’d never seen before. “Whatever it is, it won’t be easy.”
I inhaled sharply. “What if I can’t do it?”
“You can. You’re stronger than you know.”
“What if I’m not?” I croaked, so starved for comfort that his tenderness broke my composure. “What if your psychopath father sets up a ridiculous challenge and I fail? Then what? We stay here forever?”
“You won’t fail.”
He just smiled at me, his belief in me draining my doubts. He lips touched my head, the pleasant buzz too much. I’d missed his softer side. My heart still ached for the man whose kiss lifted me into clouds. Just the memory of his lips on mine made me lightheaded. I angled my head. He lowered his, as though in a trance.
Don’t do this.
A breath away from kissing him, I pulled back. A flood of heat engulfed my cheeks as I gestured at the sea. “So what will you do once this is over? Where will you go?”
Cainan looked as flustered as I felt, his hands running down to graze the bottom of my bikini. He teased the naked skin. “Boston, I suppose. I haven’t thought about the future. Maybe I’ll move to the burbs, find myself a small place, and live an honest life. Wouldn’t that be something?”
“Think bigger, Cainan.”
He shook his head, looking wistful. “I don’t dare to dream. Ever.”
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“Things I care about tend to be taken from me.”
“One day, it’ll be safe to want things for yourself.” I stroked his hand, and his attention zeroed in on me like I’d grabbed his balls. “Once you leave this island forever, you can create the life of your dreams.”
“The life of my dreams,” he echoed, his eyes raking my curves. “All I picture is you, chained to my bed.”
Shock flew through me. How did I feel about that? I played with my hair, my heart spasming in my chest.
“What else do you see for us?”
“Picking up where we left off.” Cainan’s protective embrace became a furnace, his uneven breaths ghosting my face. “I’d just been introduced to your sister. Would I have met your parents next?”
I pressed my lips together, burying the smile. “My birthday’s coming up, so yeah. I guess.”
His glare darkened. “When?”
“The thirteenth. I’m turning twenty.”
“And what does the birthday girl wish for?”
“My freedom. Yours, too.” I grinned, enjoying this lighter side of him. “But mostly, for you to make good on your promise for a romantic getaway.”
“A picnic on the beach isn’t romantic?”
“It is, but the circumstances leave a lot to be desired.” I fingered my platinum necklace.
“I don’t know. I quite enjoy having you at my mercy.”
“Instead of chasing me relentlessly?”
His brow quirked. “The chase was fun, but it didn’t last long. Someone kept sending me texts at two in the morning.”
“I was playing.”
“You were,” he growled, the sound reverberating deep in his throat. “But what did I tell you about playing with the devil?”
You’ll get burned.
He fisted my hair.
My mouth went dry as he pulled, not hard, but enough to make me wince. It hurt. The heat from my stinging scalp spread to my nipples. My thighs clenched with need as a glow pulsed between my legs. Why did this keep happening? He’d done so many unspeakable things. He’d marked his name on my flesh, and yet, my body loved his touch. What was wrong with me? Why did I weaken around this predator?
Cainan circled me, his energy darkening with every measured step. He leaned in, his lips brushing my ear. “On your knees.”
I obeyed, and a pleasant tremor ran through me.
He opened his phone and scrolled his messages, shoving them in my face. “Do you remember this?”
Claire: I’m touching myself to you.
Claire: I want to taste your cum.
Good Lord.
He tightened his fist, the pain sharpening my arousal as warmth stole into my cheeks. “Answer me.”
“I only sent that because I needed an orgasm. I used you.”
I expected him to scowl, but Cainan quirked a brow.
“You think I didn’t know that? I let you use me. I liked that you fucked yourself to my words. I enjoyed picturing you in your bed, hand between your thighs, those slick fingers working hard to soothe an ache only I could relieve.”
I had done that. Cainan’s gaze riveted on my glowing face. My skin tingled as he searched my eyes. Passion bloomed inside me, betraying my resolve.
“What do you want from me?”
“You know what I want.” His thumb played with my mouth, the sensation stroking me in intimate places. “Release. I need you.”
Was there more than lust packed into that phrase? I could tell that he meant it, that he’d brought me along to enable his self-sacrifice, that he suffered every day. If I could help relieve his stress, shouldn’t I? My hands slid up the board shorts that left little to the imagination and felt the tip of his mushroom head. Cainan shuddered.
I pulled down his shorts and took him in my mouth. Cainan sighed as I sucked and glided, guiding my movement with his hand. He groaned. More heat teased my nipples. He was so thick, like velvet steel sawing into me. I gasped, struggling to breathe around his plunging length. My tongue swirled as I tried to make him come, but I couldn’t move my head from his fierce grip. So I let him take his pleasure until he growled like a beast, filling my mouth with thick cum.
“Fuck. You’re too good.” He took himself out and stroked his shaft, the head glistening with a milky-white drop. His heated glare seemed to admonish me for making him come too quickly. He lowered me on the sand, his sculpted chest gliding over me. Then he groped me as though searching for pleasure points. His mouth trailed over my skin, sucking, biting, as he loosened my top. I breathed in harshly as he climbed between my legs and suckled my nipple. I could feel his engorged cock grinding into my sex.
“I love tasting you,” he whispered, that word clenching my heart. “I love looking at you. Watching your hatred of me dissolve as your need for me takes over. It’s beautiful to witness.”
He shoved the bikini down my thighs and palmed my pussy. I was slippery, dripping with need. He chuckled, moving his hand into position. He slipped through my tight walls. Then he rotated, a third finger joined the other two. Slick with my arousal, he moved it back. Way too back.
I uttered a soft cry of protest.
A slap hit my thigh. “Keep still.”
But I couldn’t. I’d never done this without a toy, and it felt dirty and wrong. “Please.”
“Don’t be scared. I won’t hurt you…but I am going to broaden your horizons. You need training before my cock takes you here.”
I gasped as he shifted, pressing into the puckered skin. “Do it already. Don’t drag it out.”
For a moment, he froze. Then he smiled down at me. “I’ll never let you go.”
His dark promise gripped my soul. Did he mean that, or was it something he’d said in the throes of passion? He slid two fingers inside me. My heart fluttered as he forced them in farther, stretching me. He’d only begun, but it was too much. His knuckles teased me open, slowly widening the hole, as he worked my pussy. I was so full. I clutched his shoulder, drowning in euphoria. I struggled under him, pinned but freed. There was nothing I could do but enjoy it.
My heart thundered. I wished he’d take out his cock and fuck me. I wanted him to do it quickly, to pound me until I bled so that I’d stop craving him.
“Just do it,” I begged him, breathing hard. “Get it over with.”
“Oh, Starling. If you could see yourself.” His strangled voice, hoarse with pleasure, fucked me even harder than his pulsing fingers. “Why would I want to end this?”
He searched and probed until he hit the right spot. Then I bucked my hips and groaned. I rutted into his fingers, seeking the sweet ecstasy. My toes curled. I tensed my stomach, desperate for more friction. I cried out, lost in the overwhelming sensations and his seductive purr.
“That’s right. Use me.”
My thighs clenched as my body exploded in white-hot bliss. His throat rumbled with a pleased sound. I contracted on his fingers. Then he withdrew, leaving me bereft and clenching on air. I closed my legs. I felt like a brain-damaged woman whose lust for her captor defied logic. He kept pushing my boundaries, and yet, none of it was against my will.
Oh my God. I wasn’t fighting anymore. Perhaps it had never been a battle. He’d won on the plane, when he’d called me his slave and I’d kissed him anyway.
He didn’t break me.
I was already broken.
Despair sat heavy in my lungs as Cainan’s hold became less punishing. He seemed to sense my distress immediately. His hand was on my cheek before tears stung my eyes. He hushed me, his arm encircling me. The agony was like a flash of lightning, gone the moment he gave me comfort.
“I’m so proud of you. You’ve been such a good girl.”
I have?
His praise and the flush claiming my cheeks battered me with more confusion. I knew enough about psychology to realize this wasn’t normal. The repeated traumas had fractured my spirit. Weakened me. And I’d latched on to the only person who made me feel safe.
I fisted his shirt as a sharp pain dug into my chest.
“You’re the only woman I’ve ever dated,” he whispered so faintly, I had to strain to hear him. “Did you know that?”
“N-no. I didn’t.”
“You stole my attention before we met. When I first saw you, you were having lunch with your future brother-in-law. I could tell it wasn’t going well for Knox, that you were giving him the goods. Knox is an acquaintance of mine. He has a big ego. He destroys anyone who insults him, but you didn’t care. You were feisty. You were alive. And I was intrigued.”
His words dipped me in liquid heat. Then he covered my mouth with his, detonating my confused feelings. The kiss was long and hot, packed with a million things he could not say. Promises. Apologies. And something I could’ve sworn was affection.
A voice called from down the beach. Cainan broke our kiss and restrained me as though I’d bolt. A shirtless man in black board shots headed toward us. Rylan.
His grin flashed, dazzling against his olive skin. “Get up. We need to go.” He held up his hands when Cainan shot him a cold smile. “Don’t be upset with me. It’s Father’s orders. She needs to get ready for the challenge.”
Fuck.
Cainan glowered. “When is it?”
“Tonight.”