SILENT DESIRES

Matt’s first thought was to go after Savannah, but he was furious, and this had to be ended now. Like hell he’d ever allow anyone to make Savannah feel the way she’d obviously felt tonight. He bolted to his feet, palms smacking the table as he lunged toward his brother.Original from NôvelDrama.Org.

“What the hell was that?” he shouted.

He included his mother in his furious gaze, not backing down when she recoiled from his anger.

Enzo looked taken aback, his face pale. He looked sick, but at this point Matt didn’t care. He’d had enough. This was a huge mistake and he wasn’t going to let it go this time. He never should have let it go. Never should have played down the obvious discord between Savannah and his family.

Their mother leaned forward, her expression tight. “Don’t be angry with him, Matt. I invited him. If you insist on a relationship with this woman we’re going to have to sit down together at some point. Or do you plan never to see your family? Hasn’t she caused us enough pain?” she said.

Matt let out a curse that made his mother flinch. “Haven’t you hurt her enough? It ends tonight. I’m done with this. I’m done subjecting Savvie to your insensitivity and your blatant attempts to drive us apart.”

Then he turned in his friends’ direction. “David, it was good to see you and Emily again. I hope to see you before you leave the city.” he said.

He nodded at Dash, Tess and Stefan, who looked as if they’d rather be anyplace but where they were. That made four of them.

“Sorry, man,” Dash murmured.

Not sparing his mother or brother a second glance, Matt left the table and went in search of Savannah, hoping she hadn’t made it past the door yet.

He’d take her home, apologize profusely and then he’d promise that he wouldn’t subject her to another gathering of his friends and family.

He shouldn’t have this time but he’d hoped… He wasn’t sure what he’d hoped but he’d been a damn fool and he’d hurt Savannah in the process.

He stalked toward the coatroom, but found Savannah’s coat still hanging. Then he hurried toward the entrance, but found no sign of her there either. Dread tightened his gut.

“Did you see a woman leave? Short, blond, wearing a blue dress?” he demanded of the maître d’.

“Yes, sir. She walked out just a few seconds ago.”

Matt swore. “Did you see which way she went?”

“No, I’m sorry, but you might ask outside to see if anyone got her a cab.”

Matt hurried into the night, praying she’d gone home. But what if she hadn’t? What if she’d finally had enough and said to hell with him and everyone else? She had left before, and he wasn’t sure he could spend so much time away from her again.

After being told that Savannah was seen walking down the street, Matt panicked and took off on a run. Fear lanced through him at the idea of her being out alone, upset, on her feet when she had no business walking such a distance.

He was brushed by countless people and then he saw her just ahead, getting into a cab at the next block.

He yelled her name, but the door shut and the cab drove off-leaving him standing on the sidewalk, his heart about to explode out of his chest.

He waved at a passing cab, frustrated when it didn’t slow. The next one stopped and he climbed in, directing the driver to his address. The entire way back to his house he prayed that she’d be there.

When the cab pulled up to his building, he got out and hurried toward the door. A few moments later, he strode into the house.

“Savvie? Savvie, honey, where are you?” he called.

Not waiting for an answer, he hurried into the bedroom to see her sitting on the edge of the bed, her face pale and drawn in pain. When she heard him, she looked up and he winced at the dullness in her eyes. She’d been crying.

“I thought I could do it,” she said in a raw voice, before he could beg her forgiveness. “I thought I could just go on and forget and that I could accept others thinking the worst of me as long as you and I were okay again. I did myself a huge disservice.”

“Savvie…” he began, but something in her look silenced him and he stood several feet away, a feeling of helplessness gripping him as he watched her try to compose herself.

“I sat there tonight while your friends and your mother looked at me in disgust, while they looked at you with a mixture of pity and disbelief in their eyes. All because you took me back. The tramp who betrayed you in the worst possible manner. And I thought to myself I don’t deserve this. I’ve never deserved it. I deserve better.” She said,

She raised her eyes to his and he flinched at the horrible pain he saw reflected there.

Then she laughed. A raw, terrible sound that grated across his ears. “And earlier tonight you forgave me. You stood there and told me it no longer mattered what happened in the past because you forgave me and you wanted to move forward.”

She curled her fingers into tight balls and rage flared in her eyes. She stood and stared him down even as tears ran in endless streams down her cheeks.

“Well, I don’t forgive you, Matt. Nor can I forget that you betrayed me in the worst way a man can betray the woman he’s supposed to love and be sworn to protect.”

He took a step back, reeling from the fury in her voice. His eyes narrowed. “You don’t forgive me?” he asked.

“I told you the truth that day,” she said hoarsely, her voice cracking under the weight of her tears. “I begged you to believe me. I got down on my knees and begged you. And what did you do? You wrote me a damn check and told me to get out.”

He took another step back, his hand going to his hair. Something was wrong, terribly wrong. So much of that day was a blur. He remembered her on her knees, her tear-stained face, how she put her hand on his leg and whispered, “Please don’t do this.”

It made him sick. He never wanted to go back to the way he felt that day, but somehow this was worse because there was something terribly wrong in her eyes and in her voice.

“Your brother assaulted me. He forced himself on me. I didn’t invite his attention. I wore the bruises from his attack for two weeks. Two weeks. I was so stunned by what he’d done that all I could think about was getting to you. I knew you’d fix it. You’d protect me. You’d take care of me. I knew you’d make it right. All I could think about was running to you. And, oh God, I did and you looked right through me.”