Fatherhood
Being a father was everything he ever wanted. To learn the news through a secret telephone call in his office, Declan shed a tear. Will he ever see his son? Will he ever know that he was his father? And will he ever forgive him for what he had done to his mother? He couldn’t come home that night and told Olivia he was working really late. He couldn’t face her. He locked himself in his office, sobbing in the dark.
Gil Isaac knew it. He took a vasectomy a few years before his wife had an affair with her boss. He did it because he slept with all kinds of women when he was working delivering goods from one city to another. He didn’t want to impregnate another woman when his very successful wife couldn’t. It was a slap in the face when he heard the news.
They were high school sweethearts and madly in love with each other. They married young and enjoyed their lives together as long as it lasted until they were finally forced to face reality. Their marriage was by no means a perfect one. Sienna had been unhappy for a long time. As soon as her career took off, he knew it was a matter of time before she was going to leave him. But she didn’t want to seem like the bad guy by divorcing her husband because he was making less than her, in a way, she owed her career to Gil because he had paid for her tuition by working as a truck driver.
When the passion died, all they were left with was financial problems and blame. When Gil found out his wife was having an affair with one of the wealthiest men in Lancaster, he took it as an opportunity to keep him afloat. He would keep his mouth shut as long as Declan pays for all the expenses needed. He may not be highly educated, but he knew how important it was for a man like Declan to keep his illegitimate child a secret.
“I have never missed a payment for the past 8 years … I paid more than needed … is it not enough?” Declan confronted Gil at one of their late-night meetings.
Gil looked at him with a blank stare.
Declan threw the envelope he’s been receiving on the table. “You could just tell it to my face if you want more money, Gil, what is this?”
Gil glanced at the envelope. He reached slowly and opened it. He scoffed when he looked at the pictures, “Someone obviously wants some money from you … it’s not me.”
“Bullshit!” he slammed at the table and stood up. “You’re trying to drive me crazy, is that it? I’ll pay you, Gil, I’ll pay you! You don’t have to taunt me by doing this.”
“Hey!” Gil pointed his finger at him, he was at his wits end with everything too. “Calm down! Sit down, Declan, or I swear …” his breath was getting heavy. They were in a middle of a shady bar, and they were attracting attention.
Declan realized he was about to lose it, he sat down.
“Do you think it’s easy to be in my position? I am a man whose wife is in love with another man … a much better man than me by any measure …” he scoffed, “And here I am every other month coming to see you for money I didn’t earn? To pay for the son I raised like my own when all I see in him is your face!” He tried to hold it together and steady his breath.
Declan was quiet.
“I don’t want to be in this place as much as you do, Declan, but here we are … because we screwed up! We screwed up so bad, and we’re trying to fix this unfixable problem … there’s really not much difference between you and me … just the fact that you’re so damn rich and I’m not … we’re just two screw ups … fucking failures…” he dug his fingers into his hair and rested his elbows on the table.
Declan took a big gulp of his drink, he didn’t argue with that.
“I don’t know how long I can hold on to my marriage … it’s a nightmare for the both of us … I tried … I tried to be that boy’s father, but I am not … Sienna hates my guts, I hate her guts, I don’t even know why I’m still here,” he shook his head. He tapped the envelope on the table, “This is not me … I’m actually here to tell you, I’m tired of playing this game … I want out, I’m not gonna lie to that boy anymore … he’s a good kid.” His eyes were watery, “He needs his father … I can’t love him the way he needs to be loved, and I can’t bare to think that one day I have to break his heart by telling him the truth … that’s on you.”
“What are you saying, Gil?”
“I’m saying … I’m letting this go, Declan, I’m done feeling like a failure by trying to hold on to a lie … she’s never gonna love me the way she used to, she’s living her life like a zombie … dreaming of another life she could’ve had with you, and it kills me to see that every single day … it kills me to see the way she looks at me like I’m not supposed to be there.”
Declan was numbed in his seat staring at his empty glass.NôvelDrama.Org content rights.
“I’m leaving her and Damien … they’re yours, I’m done being your caretaker, a man should know when to let go.”
“You can’t do that,” Declan shook his head. It hits him that he actually needs Gil more than he realized.
“Yes, I can … I was never part of the deal … don’t worry, I’m not gonna rant you out, you have your shit to deal with … I’m not gonna stick around to make it easier for you, you have to own up to your mistakes eventually … this is the time to do it.”
“I’ll pay you … how much do you need?”
Gil glared at him, he chuckled, “It’s that easy for you isn’t it? Rich people … you all think everything can be dealt with money … sure, I need money, how much are you willing to pay? It’s still not gonna solve your problem … I’m still leaving.” He sipped on his drink.
“How’s your wife anyway? Still in love with you?” Gil asked. “Is she better than my wife? Is that why you’re holding on to her? I guess in a way Sienna knows how it feels to be me … to be in love with someone who thinks she’s not good enough for him … what goes around comes around.”
Declan pressed his fingers on his eyelids, “Can you wait a little longer? At least until I talk to Sienna. I’m going to see her next week … we’ll discuss this and work out ways to do this … money is not an object, okay? I’ll pay whatever you need to do this … please … just hold on for a little while longer.”
Gil looked at him in the eyes, “It’s been 8 years … Declan … we’re all here just waiting for you to tell the truth … that’s the only way to take care of this problem.”
“It’s not that simple …”
“It is that simple … you just don’t want to deal with the repercussion, how long do you think this guy …” he pointed to the envelope again, “Is going to wait before he sends this to your wife? Or your family?”
The question didn’t need an answer.
“Fine … I’ll stick around ’til next week … he’s almost 8 … it’s not too late to start being his dad … maybe you can do us all a favor and teach him not to be a screw-up.”
Gil stood up and walked away without waiting for a response. Leaving Declan with his empty glass, empty stare, and a head full of scenarios of what his future holds.