Unwanted Heat

Kenzie

What a week! I cannot believe the week I’ve had. It started with Nicholas nearly giving me the first panic attack I’ve had in more than year as Hunter all but kidnapped me when I thought I was supposed to be going to work. Instead he drove me outside the city to a beautiful marina where we met up with Nicholas and Carter. We spent the day aboard his amazing boat, getting to know each other more. I was shocked when Nicholas revealed his past to me. I never would have expected someone to fool Nicholas the way Harper did. I always viewed him as stronger than that or too smart to fall for it. Hearing what happened to him, of what she did to him, made me realize that he is only human. That even someone as strong, smart and rich as he is can be duped by someone as manipulative as Harper was. It also made me realize that at least I’m not the only one who has made stupid mistakes in their life.

The day on the boat was more than I ever could have hoped for. After Nicholas told me everything that the Bitch did to him, we were still able to have a wonderful afternoon together. We went swimming, joked around and got to know each other even more. We shared a delicious lunch that Julie made us on the deck of the boat after we spent the afternoon swimming. Nicholas looked amazing in his swim shorts! I kept waiting for him to take his shirt off, but to my disappointment he never did.

Nevertheless, he looked incredibly sexy when he came out of the water and the shirt clung to him. I could see his hardened muscles beneath his shirt and I couldn’t help but imagine what he would look like shirtless. I can’t remember the last time I ever thought of a guy like that; hell I can’t remember the last time I wondered what a man looked like without his clothes on! He looked so relaxed on the boat, not like some big, powerful CEO in charge of hundreds of employees. Instead he looked… well, like someone his age should look.

And then as our perfect day was coming to an end, I nearly ruined it. I kissed him… and it was not on the cheek. I was so.. . excited, I guess that I had steered the boat to the marina and managed to not hit anything. I hugged him to thank him for taking me out for the day, for telling me about what had happened to him and for teaching me to maneuver the boat. The moment his arms wrapped around me and pulled me close to him, I immediately thought about how nice it felt to sleep next to him last weekend after my nightmare.

When I went to pull away from him, his eyes caught mine and it was as if he could see right through me again. I remember feeling that way the day we met on the sidewalk, that he could see all the secrets I’ve never told anyone. I was overwhelming how open I felt. I wanted to get away, but at the same time I didn’t want step out of his embrace. I leaned up to kiss him, intending it to be a good-bye kiss on the cheek however when his eyes met mine again, I felt this incredible urge to kiss his lips again.

I don’t know if I should be thankful for the boat horn that interrupted our kiss just before I think one of us was about to deepen it. We’ve kissed three times now; two of which have been initiated by me. The only time Nicholas initiated it was after my nightmare, probably just as a way to comfort me. I need to be more mindful of our arrangement, even though the lines seem to be getting more and more blurred as we spend time together. I can’t give Nicholas a reason to break our arrangement-I’m finally getting a head on my bills and I think I might start looking for an apartment of my own in the next couple of weeks.

I’ve enjoyed staying at The Accord Towers but the fact remains that it is Nicholas’s apartment. I think I would feel more secure if I had a place of my own-some place that I couldn’t lose without any notice if Nicholas suddenly decides to end our arrangement. The issue I know I’m going to have though is finding a place that is safe so that while Nicholas and I have this arrangement press can’t get to me, at a price I can afford. Right now I think I can afford a small apartment in a decent area but I’m concerned when the arrangement ends what will happen. I don’t think I could sign another contract with Bridget.

If this arrangement with Nicholas has taught me anything, it’s that I can’t be involved with someone without emotional attachments. Nicholas was right when he said that our arrangement has begun to go beyond a business arrangement and we’ve sort of become friends. We’re not the type of friends who call each other or text, but when we go on dates we share things about our lives. I don’t know how I will feel when Nicholas ends this; I think it will feel like losing a friend and it’s been a long time since I’ve had someone I considered a friend. I quickly shake my head from those thoughts; I need to just focus on keeping things status quo between us which means not kissing him again. I can’t be the reason he decides to end our arrangement.

Nicholas and I were supposed to go to dinner earlier this week but he ended up having to cancel because of a last minute business meeting he had to fly off to. We’re going to dinner at his parents’ tonight; I’m not sure how I feel about this. Although I’ve met Vivienne and talked to her several times now, I can’t help but feel nervous spending the evening with them. From what Bridget told me, Nicholas’s entire family will be there which I assume includes Austin and Cara.

Bridget also confirmed that next week Nicholas has a busy schedule and has requested I accompany him to several different events including a charity fundraising dinner and a business. When I was talking to her I couldn’t help but wonder if she knew about our day on the boat or the weekend that we spent together. I feel guilty that we did these things without going through her as stated in our contract. However, I know if we had for either of these things it would have resulted in a payment from Nicholas which is obviously something I don’t want. Since I don’t expect us to be spending more time together outside of our actual arrangement, I decide against informing Bridget about the weekend and the day on the boat.

I struggled with what to wear for dinner tonight; Bridget said that Nicholas told her that the dress code would be casual for dinner. What the hell is casual though to a family that has the amount of money that the Parkers have? I end up spending an hour at Stacy’s where I eventually choose a halter style sundress that falls just to my knees with a pair of dressy sandals. I think it’s a little more than casual but I hope that it will fit in with what the Parkers expect for tonight. I was a little surprised when Bridget scheduled this dinner. I had assumed I would only see them at different events. I guess I wasn’t expecting to see them in such an intimate or personal setting…

Knock knock

Thankfully Nicholas pulls me from my thoughts and overall worry about how tonight is going to go. I quickly grab my purse, set the alarm and open the door where Nicholas is waiting for me. For the first time since I’ve met him, Nicholas is wearing jeans which surprises me. I can’t help but immediately second guess my outfit for tonight, wondering if I shouldn’t go back inside and change into something more casual.

“You look… very nice,” Nicholas says.

“Do you think I should change?”

“No! Why would you?”

“Bridget mentioned the dress would be casual for tonight, and you’re in jeans… ”

“I assure you Cara will be not be dressed in jeans, if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m not sure that girl owns a single pair. I can’t remember the last time I even saw her in jeans. You look perfect… you don’t need to change.”

“If you’re sure.”

We walk down to the elevator where Carter is waiting for us; after a short ride we are in the parking garage, seated in the SUV and on our way. Nicholas is busy typing away on his cell phone, but I can’t stop thinking about how tonight will turn out. Meeting Nicholas’s family at the gala was one thing, but meeting in their home at their dinner table is completely different. It feels so much more personal-

“Are you okay?” Nicholas pulls me from my thoughts once again.

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“Are you nervous?”